Hagan watches some truly awful Rapture Movies. Part 2 of the Apocalypse Quadrilogy.
January 10, 2012
Categories: Hagan Special Reviews, Movie reviews . Tags:Apocalypse, revelation, Special reviews . Author: Diamandahagan
Perhaps I just listen to a bit too much Dark Funeral but this series has kind of left me rooting for the Devil as he seems to be the lesser of the two evils. Kind of like our Presidential elections. I’m going to drink until I go blind now.
Finally got to watch this – I’d waited all day for a unoccupied half hour.
I really enjoyed this review. It has a very strong forward momentum and the particularly smug, smiling variation on the Hagan characterization works better than I would have thought.
The references and running gags were very strong in this, too. Particularly the “O.N.E.” music gag kept on getting funnier.
I was a bit impressed by the Mithras reference… Oddly enough, that’s the third time in a mere month that I’ve heard that god being referenced. You don’t happen to follow the podcast “Kevin and Ursula eat cheap”, do you?
And speaking of re-encountered references, the Bison thing made me think of Coela Squid’s work… Probably also coincidence, though.
The Hagan god delusion (OR is it one at all? In a meta-context, it certainly holds a lot of weight… Without Diamanda Hagan herself, her whole world would not exist, and she is the reverse-avatar of her own creator…) continues to be awesomely entertaining. You got my vote for god any day!
On a note about the movie itself, the inclusion of Willy (=Wheely?!) and Shades (Sorry, forgot her name already), really goes to show how downright nefarious the thought process of the makers of this movie is. I’m not sure if the moral of their line of thought was “God made them handicapped, so they must stay that way for god is never wrong” or “They are handicapped for a reason, as god knows that they’re potentially evil”, but in either case, it is vile.
I can’t help but to think the cover art is the Jeff Fahey and that other woman looking just off to the distance at a pay check some one is dangling off camera. I swear I watched this movie at least twice, and I remembered nothing from the first half. It is not really bad, but largely forgettable.
While not nearly as terrible as the previous one, it is pretty crappy. I like that it’s Trying to tell whatshisface that faith is not something you need proof for. Contact did that better and it isn’t even a “Christian Film”. (The scene where Jodi Foster is asked to give proof of her love for her father.) This whole thing just makes me long for Touched By An Angel, a much better written show about God and angels and the Devil. Hell, I could toss in My version of the Devil into that and it would be a hell of a lot funnier.
“Do you see this? This is a guillotine. This will be used to take your ungrateful little head off. Do you know why? Because you are little more than a fucking Breeder and there are more of you to kill right behind you. Aren’t you special?”
Mistress, you do know that the series will soon be a quintilogy, don’t you?
Random thoughts as I watched this review:
Wait- if the antichrist has changed faces does that mean he’s a timelord?
I liked Willie and the blind girl, or wheels and shades as you called them a lot- and I too was annoyed at the potenitaly interesting idea of showing sympathetic characters going “dark side” for the best of reasons/adding moral ambiguity to the work being chucked out the window. And, wow, I can’t believe something did a literal “shoot the dog” moment.
Otherwise this film looked pretty darn bad, I liked your comment about believe/nonbeliever scenes by a writer with an agenda tend to be painful. I guess that’s part of what bugs me about these kinds of movies in general- I don’t feel the need to bludgeon people with my beliefs. .
I loved your rant about the antichrist’s henchman’s random use of his powers and never for anything that would make sense.
Aw, I wanted to see the bison dressed as M Bison.
I laughed way too hard at the son of dog joke than could be healthy
Why don’t we see the devoted followers of other religions portrayed here? Because Christians don’t think there ARE ANY. I had a very revealing conversation with a Christian man once who said he didn’t think we should go out after all (he had asked me, i had said yes on a WTF moment, and regretted it almost instantly so i was relieved to hear this) because his religion was far too important to him to consider pairing off with someone who felt so very differently about it than he did. (I’m a polytheist.) I said that i could see his point and no hard feelings since i felt the same way about my beliefs, and his response was “How could your beliefs matter to you?” He didn’t even register that he was being rude- he genuinely did not comprehend.
Dodged a bullet there, i think. I’ve had shades of that conversation recur. The sentiment i am most often met with is that I’m wrong, and sooner or later i will get over my silly hobby.
to cut everything down to the most basic level ‘crazy and stupid be stupid and crazy’
the films dont exactly get better too.
I love the scene where not!Michael Ironside is angry that they’re still singing. Because it reminded me of the Grinch.
wheni showed the review to some people at magfest , i paused it at that point and said i really shoulda made a grinch reference there.
Really lovin the Apocalypse reviews Mistress Hagan. The rapture topic is pretty funny if you ask me. There are people that give their animals to certain groups so they’re animals will be okay once theyve been raptured. Last year one group profited $50,000 doing this, it was like $150 a pet. Didn’t expect to see Jeff Fahey in these movies.It’s all good though, hes a good actor. Lawnmower Man (should be his only VR movie), Psycho III, Planet Terror and an awesome episode of Psych are his shining moments imo. And shouldnt not Michael Ironside be immune to fire or something because he works for the Antichrist. I really wish i could see that Bison dressed up as M. Bison lol. Can’t wait for Tribulation.
De-lurking to ask a stupid question that’s been driving me mad! Where is that hilarious singsong “oopsy” sound clip from? I’ve heard it a couple times in your reviews, including in this review at 24:10 where the narm-tastic False Prophet gets flame broiled. I bust out laughing every time I hear that “oopsyyyy!” I must know where it’s originally from! 😀 Hail you!
oooh thats the ‘toasty’ sound effect from mortal kombat!
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