Twatty Who Review- The Next Doctor


Like a proper twat, Hagan reviews some of the worst adventures in Doctor Who history- this time, The Next Doctor.

Special thanks to Welshy and Linkara.




    As much as this episode fucks logic in the nostril what really bugs me is RTD’s trademark sexism. I’m not the only one who thought that Russel T Davies tends to portray genuinely ambitious women as evil, especially mothers.

    Also, 10’s catchphrase made my anus clench every goddamn time.

    And yet I still prefer this to any of the ‘specials’… which were all just plain bad. I thank Nyarlathotep for Matt Smith/Moffat/Gillan partnership even in its weakest moments as a result.

    (Also, loved the Welshy/Linkara skit.)

  2. All I can say about this doctor is that I’m very much distracted by the constant look of utter surprise on his face. I keep expecting his eyebrows to fly right off his face whenever something surprising happens.

  3. On the subject of Attack of the Cybermen, something that bugs me about that story is the people who constantly blast it for “relying too much on continuity”. WTF?! How can a show rely too much on its own continuity?! That doesn’t make any sense! It’s like slamming a show for not plagiarising something else’s plot! What makes these whiners even stupider is the fact that these scenes in question are not story integral plot points that’ll baffle non-fans, they’re just little tidbits, like the fact that the cybermen are in the sewers (they just are, the story doesn’t even reference The Invasion!) or the fact that part of the ep is on Telos, or the fact that the cybermen’s original planet was destroyed. I want to personally beatdown the people who find the episode confusing (hell, I saw it when I was a kid, and it was my first cybermen story, and I wasn’t confused at all! And I was a kid!).

  4. I’d actually gone back and re-watched some of your Rewhos (ohgodkillmeforthis) because I’d been missing them, so this return is a very welcome thing indeed.

    A very good choice of episode,too, seeing as that one had so much potential and it was all thrown away for spectacle and Tenant fellatio.

    • do you wanna bite tennant’s dick off too? :3

      • I don’t know, that seems kind of wasteful. I mean, it probably is a decently usable dick and all.

  5. I can’t wait for your End of Time review, I’d love to hear you discus the lightning throwing Skeletor Master and the bullshit of Rassilon’s plan. Its going to be fucking great!

  6. I love you for hating this episode just as much as I did. Most people seem to tolerate it quite well or even *throws up* like it.

    I hated every second of it. It was so predictable I always knew what was going to happen 3 steps in advance and there was NOTHING to make up for the sheer boringness.
    One day after I saw this I came down with the worst flu I ever had. I had 41°C fever for one and a half weeks. I still think to this day, that this episode broke my will to live.

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