05 01 The CuckooClocks of Hell (Schizophreniac 3)

Hagans 5th season begins with the return of the earth shattering Schizophreniac series. Harry Russo meets Terry Hawkins from ‘Last House on Dead End Street’.. and there is badly choreographed violence, nudity, yelling and of course more slurs than you could possibly imagine.

If The Cuckooclocks of Hell is blocked in your country TRY HERE!



  1. I admit, the return of the Hagan-Bot was unexpected, but considering… things (that I will not spoil to those who come here), it makes perfect sense. And the stinger…. oh my goodness, I did not expect that.

    But I have to admit one thing: I’d love to see “Schizophreniac – The Musical” making it big on Broadway… or at least exist.

  2. What a way to debut a new series of reviews. Lots of callbacks for long-time fans and things that are sure to become classic moments with great performances by everyone involved.

    And that revelation at the end… That’s going to be massively intriguing.

  3. New Hagan Review! *Waves tiny Haganistan flag* Yaaay!

    Oh… another Harry Russo film… *lowers flag slightly* Yay?

    So, now that you’ve finished the trilogy, I have to ask: why exactly do you enjoy the Schizophreniac series so much? Is it a “so bad it’s good” thing or a “so bad I can’t stop trying to understand why the fuck it exists” thing?

    • Simply its imaginative, ludicrous and clearly doesnt give a fuck.. about anything. And of course the big reason is John Giancaspro, the guy is amazing as Russo.

  4. Let me start by saying: Fantastic episode, and a great beginning to the new season!
    Now a question. I’ve Google’d, Yahoo’d and Bing’d it, to no avail…where does the “Colombian smoke weed” quote come from?

    • The phrase “Columbian Smoke-Weed” comes from the “Nixon and Hogan” movie series, which unlike the title kind of promises, is not about the adventures of Richard Nixon and Hulk Hogan.

      It is much better than anything the former US president and the Hulkster could ever dream of. Just look up the Mistress’ reviews on “Nixon and Hogan smoke Christmas”

      • (we really need an edit button sometimes)
        As I meant to say: Just watch the Mistress’ reviews of “Nixon and Hogan smoke Christmas” (Here: https://diamandahagan.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/special-review-nixon-and-hogan-smoke-christmas/ ) and “Dead Shit” (here: https://diamandahagan.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/special-review-dead-shit-the-talisman-of-tikinaya/ ), where those of us who never knew about Columbian smoke-weed first learned about it.

      • I watched both reviews of N&H Smoke Christmas and Dead Shit, but I didn’t hear the line from the movies, just from Diamanda. I guess I’ll go back and watch them again.

      • Columbian Smoke Weed is a Kevin-Strange-ism from his movies.

      • @Makkai714 I’m sorry if I came across as being rude. That was the furthest away from my intention (yet it can happen because… emotions have a hard time passing through text).

        While I was positive that in both reviews columbian smokeweed is mentioned in the film-clips themselves, I can of course be wrong…. Maybe I should watch them again as well..

  5. John Safran and a Chaser clip. Didn’t expect that. Also great start to Season 5.

  6. That ending…..wow! Also, I loved the music video and the cameos. One question; where’s the dog from?

    • Glad you liked! The dog is The isle of Rangoons. They sent in most of the puppet footage and threw in the dog footage too.

  7. Lexx reference FTW!!!

  8. Usually I can get through Diamanda’s review fine….but this one…I just can’t stomach. I know it’s odd since most of the stuff covered it’s more than it’s fair share of f’ed up…but this…just…..egh.

    Sorry Diamanda, I couldn’t sit through the whole review. 😦

    • I dont blame you. If Cuckooclocks wasn’t a Schizophreniac movie I likely woulda not tackled it.

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